Boris Johnson's Crisis and Possible Escape Routes: A Humorous yet Insightful Analysis
The recent political crisis engulfing Boris Johnson, former UK Prime Minister, has left many wondering whether he will again run away from his current predicament. The nature of this crisis, much like a “fart in a colander,” presents numerous potential escape routes. Will it be Ukraine, Rwanda, an Italian villa, a Russian superyacht, or somewhere else entirely?
No Solution in Sight
To date, Johnson's preferred method has been “ignoring” the issue until it becomes insurmountable, and then “lying” about it when discovered. It seems that his latest misadventure is no different. Clearly, there are serious challenges awaiting any solution. For instance, the idea of seeking refuge in a Russian superyacht hits a snag; the ongoing “supply chain” issues associated with these luxury vessels could complicate his exit strategy.
Predicting His Future
Assuming Johnson's current trouble is finally resolved and he is removed from power, what can we expect next for him? Speculation suggests that he may turn to a cushy sinecure within the City of London, essentially a reward for his tenure. As part of that reward, he could dismantle the National Health Service, “selling the parts at bargain-basement prices” to foreign businesses, a move that aligns with his known interests in financial deregulation and privatization.
Johnson may also “write increasingly irrelevant articles” for right-wing publications. These would likely focus on “how rich people are the best people,” a theme that has become a hallmark of his rhetoric in recent years. Additionally, he could give highly-paid talks in London, targeting regions that are important to his interests. Eventually, he may retire properly, have more time to focus on personal affairs, and eventually pass away, still benefiting from the fruits of his political career.
The Last Legs of a Waning Regime
When a regime is on its last legs, it often bunkers in and continues to self-delude. This is precisely what Boris Johnson is doing now. In his current state, he might be contemplating whom to replace Sajid Javid and Kwasi Kwarteng with, but finding viable successors would be challenging. Instead, he might consider visiting other authoritarian regimes for retirement, such as Belarus under Alexander Lukashenko or North Korea, to ensure a comfortable and secure lifestyle.
Of course, Johnson still has “english schools and hospitals” to mismanage. However, his current focus is likely on navigating the immediate crisis rather than concerns about oversight during his tenure.
While this analysis provides a humorous take on Boris Johnson's situation, it also underscores the serious consequences of his actions and the potential outcomes for both him and British politics.